1 00:00:00,633 --> 00:00:02,867 [Upbeat music] 2 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:19,033 [Watkins whistling] 3 00:00:20,833 --> 00:00:25,167 Please, I was just hitch hiking! Why are you doing this? 4 00:00:26,433 --> 00:00:28,633 There's blood coming out of my ear! 5 00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:32,800 You'll spin all the blood out of my head! I'll die!! 6 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,567 Yeah, I'm afraid you will. 7 00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,633 But look on the bright side, at least you'll be famous. 8 00:00:38,767 --> 00:00:40,757 I don't wanna be famous! I want to live! 9 00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:44,433 Well, you know, maybe being a little bit famous 10 00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:46,067 would be nice. 11 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:50,300 Peter Andre famous. Enough to get a free nandos. 12 00:00:50,433 --> 00:00:54,167 That's the spirit. Scream if you wanna go faster! 13 00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:57,667 - No! No! - Scream as loud as you can. 14 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,400 - It's music to my ears, boy! - No! 15 00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:04,767 - Scream! - [Craig screaming] 16 00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:08,633 - [Watkins laughing] - No! 17 00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:19,600 [Upbeat music] 18 00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:48,367 - [Birds chirping] - [Dramatic music] 19 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,067 Seconds anyone? 20 00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:52,937 Oh, no more for me, Monica, thanks. I'm full to bursting. 21 00:01:53,067 --> 00:01:55,133 I've got to go to work after this. 22 00:01:55,267 --> 00:01:57,333 Having to work the weekend. 23 00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,066 They're making you work the weekend? 24 00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:01,099 Oh, don't ask her, Terry, that's what she wants. 25 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,967 I'm currently on a task force 26 00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:05,233 investigating a triple murder, Terry. 27 00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:06,600 Oh. 28 00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:09,667 That's why we work the weekend, to save lives. 29 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,700 - Hmm. - And what's the biggest case 30 00:02:11,833 --> 00:02:14,603 in your little private investigation agency, Gemma? 31 00:02:16,133 --> 00:02:18,800 - Gnomes. - Sorry? What was that? 32 00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:22,267 - Gnomes. Alright? - Yes. 33 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,067 And we solved it actually. Case closed. 34 00:02:25,068 --> 00:02:26,799 It was quite interesting really. 35 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:27,850 - Yeah. - Oh. 36 00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:30,067 Well they weren't stealing them, 37 00:02:30,068 --> 00:02:32,499 they were just rearranging them into explicit poses 38 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,300 - in the night. - Oh. 39 00:02:34,433 --> 00:02:37,100 - Explicit, how? - Freddie, shush. 40 00:02:37,101 --> 00:02:38,666 Well, one were bent over, one had a fishing rod. 41 00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:41,600 - Terry, shush. - Oh ho, that takes me back. 42 00:02:41,601 --> 00:02:43,966 We've not done it like that since Obama got in. 43 00:02:43,967 --> 00:02:45,527 Freddie! Will you please shush. 44 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,667 Well then we got the dog and 45 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,633 Vicky said it was insulting it. 46 00:02:49,767 --> 00:02:52,667 You know, because we were mirroring its sex life, 47 00:02:52,668 --> 00:02:54,932 even though we'd had its equipment lopped off. 48 00:02:54,933 --> 00:02:56,100 Freddie! 49 00:02:56,101 --> 00:02:57,599 You had a point though, didn't you? 50 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,100 He used to watch us with a weird look in his eye, 51 00:03:00,233 --> 00:03:01,800 encouraging me on, 52 00:03:01,801 --> 00:03:04,499 you know, 'cause I was doing what he could do no longer. 53 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,866 Freddie, I don't think your sisters want to know 54 00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:08,197 - about our sex life. - We do. 55 00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,833 - We do. - Do we? 56 00:03:09,834 --> 00:03:12,566 Vicky sends me upstairs and I exfoliate my whole body 57 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,299 'til I'm perfectly clean, and then she comes up, 58 00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:16,532 inspects me, and if I don't meet her standard, 59 00:03:16,533 --> 00:03:17,766 I've got to go and stand in the wardrobe for ten minutes, 60 00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:19,400 'cause I've let her down. 61 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,633 You know, normal. 62 00:03:21,767 --> 00:03:24,467 - Freddie, enough! - Let him speak. 63 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,867 Gemma, while you've been busy looking at 64 00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:31,300 copulating little magical people, in the real police force 65 00:03:31,433 --> 00:03:35,067 we've had bodies found, in grassington, kettlewell, 66 00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:37,167 and another one in aysgarth last night. 67 00:03:37,168 --> 00:03:40,632 Do you want me to wrap you up some beef, Vicky? 68 00:03:40,633 --> 00:03:43,066 In case you end up in a stand-off with the killers. 69 00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:44,600 Be nice to have a beef sandwich 70 00:03:44,733 --> 00:03:46,967 if the snipers get stuck in traffic. 71 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,367 Yeah? 72 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:49,667 Hubberholme. 73 00:03:50,051 --> 00:03:52,132 What? 74 00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:53,299 It's number three on the tour. 75 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,600 - What tour? - Every tour. 76 00:03:55,733 --> 00:03:57,600 Well every tour at Yorkshire dales. 77 00:03:59,233 --> 00:04:03,900 Grassington, kettlewell, hubberholme and aysgarth. 78 00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:06,267 Then there's literally dozens after that. 79 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,570 It's the perennial pensioners favourite. 80 00:04:09,867 --> 00:04:13,200 An entire county echoing with the sounds of complaints 81 00:04:13,201 --> 00:04:15,266 delivered through poorly fitted teeth. 82 00:04:15,267 --> 00:04:17,567 - Oh. - Did you hear that, Gemma? 83 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:20,367 The force is missing an investigative genius. 84 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:22,133 Oh. 85 00:04:22,134 --> 00:04:24,366 I'll have to bring you into the situation room with me. 86 00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:25,417 What, now? 87 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,390 Monica's got spotted dick and custard for pudding. 88 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,400 She's being sarcastic, Terry. 89 00:04:31,533 --> 00:04:32,700 Oh. 90 00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:34,763 You run along to your murders, Vicky, 91 00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:36,833 which by the way she hasn't solved. 92 00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:39,267 We're um, working today as well, aren't we? 93 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,450 - Yeah. - Well... 94 00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:43,267 Going undercover actually. Yeah. 95 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,767 [Soft music] 96 00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:47,983 Hi... 97 00:04:50,233 --> 00:04:51,467 Just be cool. Just be cool. 98 00:04:51,468 --> 00:04:56,099 Puppies aren't stealing themselves from this pet shop. 99 00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,067 If you see a puppy-napper, just bark. 100 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,733 But what if they throw a ball, Gemma? I'm a dog now. 101 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:03,900 I owe it to my newly adopted species to run after it. 102 00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:07,199 Look, I know it's not the most glamorous job 103 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,733 we've ever done, 104 00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:11,533 but a few more of these, well a lot more of these, 105 00:05:11,667 --> 00:05:15,733 we can get out of my sister's place, pay for the wedding. 106 00:05:15,734 --> 00:05:17,532 I love that you're excited about the wedding. 107 00:05:17,533 --> 00:05:19,533 - Ah ha. - Come here, give us a kiss... 108 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,767 - Aw. - And maybe a rub of my tummy. 109 00:05:23,233 --> 00:05:24,333 - Oh. - Oh. 110 00:05:24,467 --> 00:05:26,067 Oh Terry. 111 00:05:26,068 --> 00:05:27,732 I can't see, yeah, right, which way are you going? 112 00:05:27,733 --> 00:05:30,833 - Just go to the left. - What? Your left or mine? 113 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,733 [Suspenseful music] 114 00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:39,700 - [Man] Help! Please help! - [Man screaming] 115 00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:42,600 [Watkins] Shush now, I'll be with you in a second. 116 00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:50,467 [Knocking on door] 117 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,933 Still no news, chief inspector. 118 00:05:52,934 --> 00:05:54,266 - Oh. - The victims weren't friends, 119 00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:55,933 they worked in different places. 120 00:05:56,067 --> 00:05:57,627 They had no past relationships 121 00:05:57,628 --> 00:05:59,366 that would connect them in any way. 122 00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:01,100 Okay, okay. 123 00:06:01,101 --> 00:06:03,866 Might we just get lucky and he might get bored and give up? 124 00:06:03,867 --> 00:06:06,500 - Yeah. - [Vicky laughs] 125 00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:12,133 - No, I don't think so ma'am. - Right. Shame. 126 00:06:12,134 --> 00:06:13,899 You see, that's the trouble with serial killers, isn't it? 127 00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:17,067 They just never seem to know enough's enough. 128 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,100 - We've got another body. - Oh! 129 00:06:19,233 --> 00:06:20,867 Hubberholme. 130 00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:22,367 - Hubberholme. - What? 131 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,067 It's number three on the tour. 132 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:27,333 Oh god, no! Thanks Marcus. 133 00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:30,533 Do you know what I think, sergeant? 134 00:06:30,534 --> 00:06:33,399 I think any connection at the moment would be a great help. 135 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,633 I mean, nobody told me this job would be so difficult. 136 00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:39,500 Criminals don't seem to want to be caught these days. 137 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,967 Scenic coach tours, chief inspector. 138 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:45,067 Oh, great idea. I would bloody love one. 139 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,433 - Get me out of this mess. - No, the locations. 140 00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:51,700 They're along the routes of the Yorkshire dales coach tours. 141 00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:54,567 They start in grassington, then kettlewell, 142 00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:57,350 hubberholme, aysgarth and then onwards from there. 143 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,167 Oh! Fantastic! 144 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:03,700 Finally a connection. Well done, sausage. 145 00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:05,733 So er, where are they going next? 146 00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:12,367 Well, um, that information, it came from a source. 147 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,900 Oh, an informant! Ooh, bring them in. 148 00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:19,467 - I bloody love an informant. - Yes ma'am. 149 00:07:19,468 --> 00:07:21,799 There's something sexy about them, isn't there? 150 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,900 A cloaked figure nestled in a world of darkness, 151 00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:27,700 reaching out to us to put things right. 152 00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:30,003 Oh, I bet he's a right swarthy charmer, eh? 153 00:07:32,933 --> 00:07:34,133 Look at yourselves! 154 00:07:34,134 --> 00:07:36,299 You could have at least taken your heads off. 155 00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:38,650 Well we can't, they're sewn into the costumes. 156 00:07:38,651 --> 00:07:42,332 It's either this or vest and knickers I'm afraid. 157 00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:45,283 Anyway, you're the one who asked for our expert knowledge. 158 00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:49,867 So you're our experts then? Nice outfits. 159 00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,400 I'm actually part of a club 160 00:07:51,533 --> 00:07:53,523 where we dress up in something similar. 161 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,867 Have a few drinks, hmm, see what happens. 162 00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:01,500 It's not a sex thing. 163 00:08:01,633 --> 00:08:04,267 Right. We'll say no more about it then. 164 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,767 This is Terry bremmer, everybody. 165 00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:09,300 I'm his fiancee, Gemma. Hi. 166 00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:11,617 Right. 167 00:08:14,533 --> 00:08:18,067 Victim number one. Found in grassington. 168 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,433 Spun to death of a waltzer. 169 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:25,267 - [Craig screaming] - [Watkins laughinf] 170 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,900 Victim number two in kettlewell. 171 00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:30,900 Tied to a windscreen, then flayed alive, 172 00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:32,733 took all the skin of his skull. 173 00:08:32,867 --> 00:08:37,733 - [Man screaming] - [Watkins laughs] 174 00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:43,067 Number three. Crushed between the doors, 175 00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:45,200 aysgarth monastery. 176 00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:50,067 - [Metallic door banging] - [Watkins laughing] 177 00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:54,567 And our fourth unlucky chap was found in the foghorn 178 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,400 at foggerty falls foghorn museum. 179 00:08:57,401 --> 00:08:59,466 Smack bang in the middle of hubberholme. 180 00:08:59,467 --> 00:09:04,333 - [Horn hooting] - [Watkins laughing] 181 00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:13,367 And er, that's all we've got so far. 182 00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:17,100 So er, just relax, tell us what you know 183 00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:19,200 and remember that lives are at stake 184 00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,367 and it's all down to you, go! 185 00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:22,933 What, me? No! 186 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:29,850 Hello. 187 00:09:29,967 --> 00:09:32,533 [Speakers tinning] 188 00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:36,667 Well, um, it's just that I noticed that these four places 189 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,300 are the first four stops 190 00:09:38,433 --> 00:09:41,143 for dozens of coach tours around the Yorkshire dales. 191 00:09:41,144 --> 00:09:43,299 And you're going to tell us 192 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:45,500 where the fifth location is, aren't you? 193 00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:46,800 - No. - No? 194 00:09:46,801 --> 00:09:50,932 What do you mean, no? Then what is the point of you? 195 00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:51,983 I... 196 00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:55,767 I've got an idea, shove over. Right. 197 00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:58,833 Now, from these four points 198 00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:00,532 there's only a limited amount of tours 199 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,033 that you could be part of. 200 00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:06,733 Yeah? So our fellah is either part of the tourist industry 201 00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:09,877 or he's got a grudge against people in the tourist industry. 202 00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:13,900 Ma'am, he's on the phone! Our boy. 203 00:10:13,901 --> 00:10:16,066 Knows details of the killings we haven't made public. 204 00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:18,533 Right. You talk to him, you're the expert. 205 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:21,499 Nice outfit. There's actually a few of us that get... 206 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,067 - No. - Okay. 207 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,970 Leave it, he's not one of us. Right, put the call through. 208 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:30,967 So, keep him on the line for as long as you can. 209 00:10:30,968 --> 00:10:33,766 Oh, and quick reminder, innocent lives are depending on you, 210 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:34,817 but no pressure. 211 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,167 [Suspenseful music] 212 00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:45,817 Hiya. 213 00:10:46,667 --> 00:10:49,000 Hi, are you alright? 214 00:10:49,133 --> 00:10:51,900 Hey, I'm more than alright, mr policeman. 215 00:10:52,033 --> 00:10:54,267 I'm just tickety boo. 216 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,600 So, are you er, calling about another murder, 217 00:10:57,733 --> 00:11:00,067 or just a general chit-chat? 218 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,633 Oh, I just thought I'd check in, 219 00:11:04,767 --> 00:11:07,400 see how badly you're doing at catching me. 220 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,867 We found the hubberholme body. 221 00:11:09,868 --> 00:11:11,832 Been there for a while, hadn't they? 222 00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:15,400 Oh aye. You are terribly out of sequence. 223 00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:19,867 So, aysgarth, where are we going next? 224 00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:22,167 I mean, either way you look at it, 225 00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:23,700 you've got to be on the a684. 226 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,567 But then you'd get stuck in... 227 00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:29,233 [Both] The one way system next to the pie shop. 228 00:11:32,367 --> 00:11:35,467 [Suspenseful music] 229 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:45,667 So you know your pie shops then? 230 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,533 It has been said, yeah. 231 00:11:48,767 --> 00:11:50,447 Bloody hell, it's Terry bremmer! 232 00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:55,633 You're too late to save this one, sadly. 233 00:11:55,767 --> 00:12:00,600 But don't worry, there'll be more. Much, much more. 234 00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:04,697 Yeah, well maybe there will, or maybe there won't. 235 00:12:05,867 --> 00:12:08,367 Or maybe we'll catch you before the next one. 236 00:12:08,368 --> 00:12:11,366 And then the only pie shop you'll be visiting, my friend, 237 00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:12,417 is the one... 238 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:14,883 In prison. 239 00:12:15,581 --> 00:12:18,766 They've got pie shops in prison? 240 00:12:18,767 --> 00:12:19,817 No. 241 00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:23,067 Well no, what I meant was like, 242 00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:26,267 you will probably be arrested. 243 00:12:29,067 --> 00:12:31,667 Oh, "probably". 244 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:36,567 By the time this is over, you will eat your words. Bye now. 245 00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:39,530 No, look, mate, listen, hang on... 246 00:12:40,567 --> 00:12:42,197 - Couldn't trace him ma'am. - Oh! 247 00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:47,067 "Eat my words." "Eat my w-words." 248 00:12:49,967 --> 00:12:54,833 Gemma, I am going to eat my words. 249 00:12:54,834 --> 00:12:57,166 Sorry, are you admitting defeat? 250 00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,766 Only I was thinking of admitting defeat, 251 00:12:58,767 --> 00:13:01,600 so if you want to go first, I'd be bang up for that. 252 00:13:01,733 --> 00:13:03,933 - Gemma... - I don't... 253 00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:07,900 You used to say it. But only when we were passing... 254 00:13:08,067 --> 00:13:10,433 Oh my god! Albert dickensthwaite! 255 00:13:11,733 --> 00:13:14,833 Right! We have a name, get him arrested. 256 00:13:14,967 --> 00:13:17,633 Oh, I knew we could do it. Well done everyone. 257 00:13:17,767 --> 00:13:20,100 I'm off for a gin, anyone else? 258 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,800 Any gin? Good stuff, she's happy this time. 259 00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:24,867 - Wow! - No, no no no. Dickensthwaite 260 00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:27,200 was a foundry owner in the 1800s. 261 00:13:27,333 --> 00:13:28,600 Oh. 262 00:13:28,601 --> 00:13:30,299 He was one of those victorian eccentrics 263 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:31,166 who believed that you could absorb intelligence 264 00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:32,367 through your stomach. 265 00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:35,100 So every day he'd eat a book for dinner. 266 00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:37,433 Yeah, until he died of ink poisoning. 267 00:13:37,434 --> 00:13:40,899 There's a statue of him in shelmondbury, 268 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,432 right, with him holding the last bell that was ever made 269 00:13:42,433 --> 00:13:43,533 at the foundry. 270 00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:45,767 But, whenever we passed through, 271 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,167 Gemma always got to say to the passengers... 272 00:13:49,533 --> 00:13:51,967 I guess Albert really did eat his own words. 273 00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:55,067 Ha, it's one of my favourite jokes. 274 00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:57,700 And did the passengers laugh? 275 00:13:57,833 --> 00:13:58,883 Oh yeah. 276 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:04,767 Right, well you heard the man. We're off to shelmondbury! 277 00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:07,567 - You're coming too. - Ooh, yes! Another victim! 278 00:14:12,167 --> 00:14:14,600 [Soft music] 279 00:14:24,604 --> 00:14:28,099 Time for the sniffer dogs is it ma'am? 280 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,233 Oh, very funny. 281 00:14:30,833 --> 00:14:33,233 Nice outfit. There's a few of us get together... 282 00:14:33,367 --> 00:14:34,417 Get out! 283 00:14:35,533 --> 00:14:38,333 Right, shall we er, examine the body then? 284 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:47,167 [Bell dings] 285 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:48,733 Now that is a bloody big bell. 286 00:14:50,867 --> 00:14:52,867 It goes ding, ding, ding. 287 00:14:53,933 --> 00:14:56,833 [Watkins whistling] 288 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,067 Oh, the cheeky little sod. 289 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,010 He's doing the "wheels on the bus!" 290 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,467 The song? 291 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,900 "The wheels on the bus go round and round..." 292 00:15:10,067 --> 00:15:12,600 [Man screaming] 293 00:15:12,733 --> 00:15:15,767 "The wipers on the bus go swish swish swish..." 294 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:18,333 [Watkins laughs] 295 00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:21,300 "The horn on the bus goes beep beep beep..." 296 00:15:21,433 --> 00:15:24,067 [Watkins laughs] 297 00:15:24,133 --> 00:15:27,400 And the doors on the bus, Gemma, open and close. 298 00:15:27,533 --> 00:15:29,967 [Metallic door creaking] 299 00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:31,790 And now "the bell on the bus goes..." 300 00:15:32,633 --> 00:15:33,683 "Ding, ding, ding." 301 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:42,067 He's killing people according to the verses of the song. 302 00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:46,333 And he's using a coach tour map. Your boy is a coach driver. 303 00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:49,567 Uh? Is that a lead? 304 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:50,967 If he's a coach driver, 305 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,767 we could help you further if you like? 306 00:15:54,768 --> 00:15:56,299 We were part of that world for years, 307 00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:58,900 they know us, they trust us. 308 00:15:59,067 --> 00:16:00,967 - We could go undercover. - Can we? 309 00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:06,700 I mean, look at us. We've got experience. 310 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,667 That would be great. 311 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:12,300 Oh, just knowing that you two are prepared to take the blame 312 00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:14,133 when this all goes tits-up. 313 00:16:14,267 --> 00:16:17,037 Oh, I mean I know it's not normal, but what else can I do? 314 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:21,233 You two are my last resort. Ha. 315 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:25,267 Did you hear that Terry? We're a last resort. 316 00:16:26,267 --> 00:16:27,407 That means they need us. 317 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:29,950 Yeh! 318 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,200 [Upbeat music] 319 00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:48,667 [Soft music] 320 00:16:48,668 --> 00:16:50,599 Hey, I've found half a sausage roll in my pocket. 321 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,933 - Don't eat it. - I wasn't gonna. 322 00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:58,800 Oh, right. Back on a coach. 323 00:16:58,801 --> 00:17:01,066 I know we thought we'd left the coach life behind, 324 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:04,667 and it's gonna be awful, but we can get through it. 325 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:08,030 - Oh, are you ready? - Yeah. 326 00:17:09,533 --> 00:17:13,067 The smell of diesel, life on the open road, 327 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,067 shouting at road workers. 328 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,400 Back to the good old days. 329 00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:18,933 The good old days? 330 00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:22,232 I thought these were the good old days, 331 00:17:22,233 --> 00:17:23,733 well the good new days. 332 00:17:23,734 --> 00:17:25,266 Are these new days not the good new days? 333 00:17:25,267 --> 00:17:26,733 Sorry, I got confused. 334 00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:31,433 When we had money and job security. 335 00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:33,400 - Hmm. - Awful times. 336 00:17:33,401 --> 00:17:38,332 We realise you can't be a coach operator without a coach, 337 00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:41,067 so er, we rustled something up for you. 338 00:17:41,167 --> 00:17:42,833 I hope it's suitable. 339 00:17:42,967 --> 00:17:45,533 [Upbeat music] 340 00:17:56,233 --> 00:17:58,467 - Marcus, keys. - There you go, cowboy. 341 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:02,066 And you'll be happy to know I'm sending 342 00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:04,177 a qualified police officer to go with you. 343 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:08,650 No... 344 00:18:09,533 --> 00:18:10,583 No! 345 00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:16,667 - Are you enjoying yourself? - Yeah. 346 00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:20,433 Makes me think you might want to go back to it. 347 00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:24,233 Yeah, no. No, no. 348 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:30,567 Just so we're clear, you're not my sister-in-law any more, 349 00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:33,367 or a police officer, you're my employee. 350 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,967 Gemma, I've done undercover work before. 351 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:40,100 It's all about living the character. 352 00:18:40,101 --> 00:18:41,932 Well if you can find it in yourself 353 00:18:41,933 --> 00:18:45,533 to "live" the character of my subordinate on a tour bus, 354 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,433 you can make me a coffee. 355 00:18:47,434 --> 00:18:48,799 That's really not how it works. 356 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,933 Subordinate! Coffee! 357 00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:58,867 This is my world, Vicky. You're a tour guide now. 358 00:18:58,868 --> 00:19:01,266 So it's dry shampoo 'til it looks manageable 359 00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:02,957 and wet wipes on your stinky bits. 360 00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:07,600 Are you liking your new coach then? 361 00:19:07,733 --> 00:19:08,967 It's having its moments. 362 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,733 [Gentle music] 363 00:19:17,233 --> 00:19:20,233 Is this your plan, to just hang around a services? 364 00:19:20,234 --> 00:19:21,599 Are we gonna talk an old man 365 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,166 into buying us cigarettes as well? 366 00:19:23,167 --> 00:19:26,067 Oh Vicky, for a supposed investigator, 367 00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:27,333 you've got a lot to learn. 368 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,633 There's a place, a secret place, 369 00:19:31,767 --> 00:19:34,900 a place that I thought we'd sworn never to go back to. 370 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:40,100 Terry, you ready? 371 00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:43,700 - Oh yeah. - [Gemma sighs] 372 00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:46,700 [Knocking on door] 373 00:19:47,733 --> 00:19:48,783 Hiya. 374 00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:56,233 This is the special place. 375 00:19:56,367 --> 00:19:58,933 [Upbeat music] 376 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:11,233 This is the tour operators' lounge. 377 00:20:11,234 --> 00:20:14,299 Ever wondered where we go when you stop for a comfort break? 378 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:15,350 Right here. 379 00:20:18,633 --> 00:20:21,133 Some would say it's a sacred temple of the road. 380 00:20:29,433 --> 00:20:30,833 Now just blend in. 381 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,290 I've formed a very close, special bond with these people. 382 00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:42,383 Hi. 383 00:20:43,767 --> 00:20:47,067 Oh, look who it is. Miss high and mighty Gemma draper. 384 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,520 Hmm, cheeky, filthy madam. 385 00:20:48,533 --> 00:20:51,767 Yeah, she is cheeky. And filthy. 386 00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:53,333 Close special bond is it? 387 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,733 Who's this? 388 00:20:55,867 --> 00:20:58,900 Oh, this is Vicky. Our trainee. 389 00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:00,903 Ooh, she's got a trainee now has she? 390 00:21:00,933 --> 00:21:02,567 She's not expensive. 391 00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:05,833 Failed her exams, then her boyfriend left her. 392 00:21:05,967 --> 00:21:08,900 She tried to train as a beautician, but as you can see, 393 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:10,633 she's not got the face for it. 394 00:21:12,567 --> 00:21:15,867 Yes, I see what you mean. No pride in her looks. 395 00:21:17,351 --> 00:21:19,466 - Alright? - Alright? 396 00:21:19,467 --> 00:21:21,900 - Alright? - Hiya. 397 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,700 So, what's the goss in the tour community then? 398 00:21:28,833 --> 00:21:31,833 The bottom fell out of our chemical toilet, but it's fine. 399 00:21:31,967 --> 00:21:34,700 - My Tony fixed it. - Just left the hole. 400 00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:37,467 Turns out the old folk like to feel the breeze 401 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:38,967 on their bits. 402 00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:41,030 Sometimes you can hear them whooping 403 00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,933 like they're on a roller-coaster. 404 00:21:43,067 --> 00:21:47,367 We're doing a new tour, Botox, detox and goldilocks. 405 00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:50,867 It's like a mobile spa, but we read you a story at the end. 406 00:21:51,067 --> 00:21:52,500 This is ridiculous. 407 00:21:52,501 --> 00:21:54,066 Yeah, they're all the rage, the rhyming titles. 408 00:21:54,067 --> 00:21:55,627 I'm doing 'mums, bums and tums'. 409 00:21:55,633 --> 00:21:57,500 "Exercise while we drive. 410 00:21:57,633 --> 00:22:00,633 Work your pelvic floors as we cross the moors." 411 00:22:00,634 --> 00:22:02,632 We tried doing the gammon, salmon and famine tour, 412 00:22:02,633 --> 00:22:04,966 but by the time they'd had the gammon and the salmon, 413 00:22:04,967 --> 00:22:07,433 people said the famine museum was in poor taste. 414 00:22:07,567 --> 00:22:11,700 The big news is, the roadworks on the a346. 415 00:22:11,701 --> 00:22:14,199 Ooh, yeah, they reckon they've done them properly, 416 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,299 but there's no way you can get a coach through them. 417 00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:18,533 - Aye. - Roadworks eh? 418 00:22:18,667 --> 00:22:21,267 Bloody hell! Stop the press! 419 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,533 Doesn't affect me. I've hated that road since it opened. 420 00:22:24,667 --> 00:22:26,417 I prefer the old fashioned routes. 421 00:22:31,233 --> 00:22:33,800 So, it weren't nothing more about murder. 422 00:22:33,933 --> 00:22:36,823 The only thing they've killed is the art of conversation. 423 00:22:36,824 --> 00:22:40,566 You're both utterly useless. Right, I'm taking charge. 424 00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:41,967 You can't. 425 00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:44,367 I'm going into character. Watch and learn. 426 00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:47,667 - Vicky, wait! - Let her go, Terry. 427 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,670 Let her go. This is gonna be brilliant. 428 00:22:51,567 --> 00:22:53,433 O m to the g. 429 00:22:53,567 --> 00:22:56,217 I don't know about you girls, but I'm all coached out. 430 00:22:56,233 --> 00:22:58,163 Oh, I'll tell you what goss I've heard. 431 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,467 Apparently there's been people killing people. 432 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,470 Ain't that mad, ain't that just mad! 433 00:23:03,471 --> 00:23:05,899 And I think someone should do something about it, 434 00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:07,266 for the good of everyone else. 435 00:23:07,267 --> 00:23:09,700 But that's just me, that's what I think. 436 00:23:09,833 --> 00:23:11,967 Sometimes you just have to accuse people 437 00:23:11,968 --> 00:23:13,699 of doing something for the common good, 438 00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:15,333 - do you know what I mean? - No. 439 00:23:15,467 --> 00:23:16,867 Yeah you do. 440 00:23:17,067 --> 00:23:19,267 Having a private meeting, are we? 441 00:23:19,268 --> 00:23:20,766 Those lot might have their little bits of gossip, 442 00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:23,300 but the real news is the murders. 443 00:23:23,433 --> 00:23:27,300 Oh, terrible aren't they? Everyone's talking about them. 444 00:23:27,433 --> 00:23:28,900 Oh, who's talking that talk? 445 00:23:28,901 --> 00:23:31,399 Would you have a list, maybe a detailed description? 446 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:32,733 Oh yes. 447 00:23:32,867 --> 00:23:35,067 One suspect, devilishly handsome, 448 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:36,640 charm oozing from every pore. 449 00:23:39,267 --> 00:23:42,067 It's me. I'm the murderer. 450 00:23:43,767 --> 00:23:46,597 "I'm the one responsible for the five deaths, Clarice." 451 00:23:48,233 --> 00:23:51,733 Give over Willy! You're the sanest coach driver we know. 452 00:23:51,734 --> 00:23:53,599 If you're the murderer, we're all in trouble. 453 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,833 I just hope they catch him quickly. 454 00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:57,366 I'm supposed to be driving tomorrow, 455 00:23:57,367 --> 00:23:59,299 and er, I don't really wanna be on the road 456 00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:01,433 with a murderer knocking about. 457 00:24:01,567 --> 00:24:04,577 Those mums, bums and tums will be clenching extra tight, eh. 458 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,967 Hmm. 459 00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:10,933 Ooh, a song. Let's sing a song, yeah. 460 00:24:10,934 --> 00:24:13,299 I think this one's got too many miles on her, Gemma. 461 00:24:13,300 --> 00:24:15,500 And see how it makes us feel 462 00:24:15,501 --> 00:24:17,799 and what actions it might make us feel like taking. 463 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,067 I'll start. 464 00:24:19,167 --> 00:24:22,733 ? The wheels on the bus go round and round ? 465 00:24:22,867 --> 00:24:26,067 ? round and round, round and round ? 466 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,667 ? the wheels on the bus go round and round ? 467 00:24:29,668 --> 00:24:32,199 right, we've got to go. It's lovely to see you all. 468 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,067 Catch up soon, yeah. 469 00:24:34,167 --> 00:24:37,117 Anybody feeling anything yet? Anything murderous yeah? 470 00:24:37,167 --> 00:24:40,533 ? All day long ? 471 00:24:40,534 --> 00:24:42,599 ? the wheels on the bus go round and round ? 472 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,100 what the hell was that? 473 00:24:44,101 --> 00:24:46,399 I was singing the song to see if anyone reacted to it. 474 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,367 Everyone reacted to it, Vicky! 475 00:24:48,368 --> 00:24:49,966 Well somebody had to do something. 476 00:24:49,967 --> 00:24:52,700 We haven't found out anything! 477 00:24:52,833 --> 00:24:56,667 Well yes, we have Vicky. The a346 is unpassable by coach. 478 00:24:56,668 --> 00:24:59,366 That means you can't get to the twydle tweed tea shop 479 00:24:59,367 --> 00:25:01,267 or the todmorden bun museum. 480 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:02,660 So that's four more tours 481 00:25:02,661 --> 00:25:04,466 we can cross off our list of possibles. 482 00:25:04,467 --> 00:25:06,967 Five tours actually, Terry. 483 00:25:06,968 --> 00:25:09,166 You also can't get to the old sandgate asylum. 484 00:25:09,167 --> 00:25:10,832 Although after that little stunt, 485 00:25:10,833 --> 00:25:13,132 we might wanna think about dropping Vicky off there. 486 00:25:13,133 --> 00:25:14,533 Hmm? 487 00:25:14,667 --> 00:25:17,467 [Dramatic music] 488 00:25:18,678 --> 00:25:24,166 [Reporter] Morning campers, it's a new dawn and a new day. 489 00:25:24,167 --> 00:25:26,066 Don't forget, we've got murders all across the dales, 490 00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:27,667 so you be careful out there. 491 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,900 When I see Vicky today, she is getting it. 492 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,400 This is my collar. 493 00:25:32,401 --> 00:25:33,932 We don't need some rookie coming in 494 00:25:33,933 --> 00:25:35,832 and screwing this operation up for us. 495 00:25:35,833 --> 00:25:40,667 When I say jump, she should say, "how can I jump?" 496 00:25:41,467 --> 00:25:42,867 Is, is that how it goes? 497 00:25:43,067 --> 00:25:45,233 Glad to see power's not gone to your head. 498 00:25:45,367 --> 00:25:48,667 [Phone ringing] 499 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:50,100 Unknown number. 500 00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:53,200 Well, well, well. 501 00:25:53,201 --> 00:25:55,232 Word on the coach tour circuit is that 502 00:25:55,233 --> 00:25:58,183 you certainly seemed to have fun at the old members lounge. 503 00:25:58,967 --> 00:26:00,017 Eh Terry? 504 00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:03,833 - It's him! - What? 505 00:26:03,967 --> 00:26:06,367 - And he knows my name! - Put it on speaker. 506 00:26:06,368 --> 00:26:09,966 I thought I'd give you a fighting chance for this one. 507 00:26:09,967 --> 00:26:12,633 The victim is still alive. For now. 508 00:26:15,233 --> 00:26:16,933 Please help! 509 00:26:17,067 --> 00:26:21,067 Now now, remember your part. Like we practised. 510 00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:25,533 ? The babies on the bus go ? 511 00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:27,533 argh, wah! Wah! Wah! 512 00:26:31,333 --> 00:26:34,133 Good boy. Here, have a rusk. 513 00:26:34,267 --> 00:26:35,533 Thank you. 514 00:26:35,534 --> 00:26:36,599 You say you're giving us a fighting chance, 515 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:38,067 at least tell us where he is! 516 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:42,800 Oh Terry, talking to you sometimes is absolute agony. 517 00:26:45,133 --> 00:26:48,300 But I'll tell you this, whoever finds him 518 00:26:48,433 --> 00:26:53,267 is gonna be more miserable than they've ever been before. 519 00:26:54,467 --> 00:26:57,400 [Phone beeping] 520 00:26:57,533 --> 00:27:00,167 Right, let's think about what he said. 521 00:27:00,300 --> 00:27:02,200 - Talking to me was agony. - Yeah. 522 00:27:03,167 --> 00:27:04,217 "Agony." 523 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:06,450 Get me the map. 524 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,300 [Glass shatters] 525 00:27:15,433 --> 00:27:19,067 Gemma, I just wanted to look at it. 526 00:27:19,151 --> 00:27:23,699 Right. The last body was found at shelmondbury. 527 00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:24,900 [Gemma] Ah ha. 528 00:27:25,067 --> 00:27:28,767 We know the a346 isn't passable by coach. 529 00:27:28,900 --> 00:27:31,833 So he's either going to kirkby Steven, 530 00:27:31,967 --> 00:27:33,200 millthrop or garsdale. 531 00:27:34,867 --> 00:27:36,247 Well they're all tour stops. 532 00:27:37,933 --> 00:27:40,433 And he said, "whoever finds the victim 533 00:27:40,567 --> 00:27:43,517 is gonna be more miserable than they've ever been before." 534 00:27:45,733 --> 00:27:49,367 Oh my god! I just figured it out. 535 00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:53,300 Terry, I've actually stepped inside the mind of the killer. 536 00:27:53,301 --> 00:27:54,766 Well quickly Gemma, step back out 537 00:27:54,767 --> 00:27:56,266 and tell me what you're thinking! 538 00:27:56,267 --> 00:27:59,633 - Margaret the misery. - [Man screaming] 539 00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:04,067 The most feared museum manager in all the dales. 540 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:05,250 Yep. 541 00:28:05,251 --> 00:28:08,099 Fairfield mill torture museum! 542 00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:09,667 Right. 543 00:28:09,668 --> 00:28:12,566 Quick, call henrietta, they can get there quicker than us. 544 00:28:12,567 --> 00:28:13,633 Well come on. 545 00:28:14,933 --> 00:28:19,767 - [Siren wailing] - [Suspenseful music] 546 00:28:23,167 --> 00:28:25,433 Of course! "The babies on the bus." 547 00:28:25,567 --> 00:28:28,233 Please, can you make sure you tell my wife 548 00:28:28,367 --> 00:28:30,367 he dressed me like this! 549 00:28:30,651 --> 00:28:32,732 Fair enough. 550 00:28:32,733 --> 00:28:34,063 - We should untie him. - No! 551 00:28:35,433 --> 00:28:40,100 Sorry to be rude, it's just he's got me stretched out here, 552 00:28:40,233 --> 00:28:44,533 but if you release the tension, that axe up there, 553 00:28:44,534 --> 00:28:45,966 it'll drop and cut me in two. 554 00:28:45,967 --> 00:28:48,733 Don't panic, we are trained professionals. 555 00:28:48,734 --> 00:28:50,932 Please just try to be calm and we'll pop you off in a jiffy. 556 00:28:50,933 --> 00:28:53,133 I'm just gonna tighten this rope slightly. 557 00:28:54,133 --> 00:28:55,600 [Barry screams] 558 00:28:55,733 --> 00:29:00,633 - [Blood spurting] - [Suspenseful music] 559 00:29:11,367 --> 00:29:15,533 That's the second person I've cut in half this year. 560 00:29:17,167 --> 00:29:20,867 Oh, I'm afraid we got here too late. The trap went off. 561 00:29:21,067 --> 00:29:23,200 And you just found him cut in half? 562 00:29:23,333 --> 00:29:26,300 We did find him, yes, we definitely found him. 563 00:29:26,301 --> 00:29:28,232 There was just nothing we could do to help. 564 00:29:28,233 --> 00:29:30,333 She's right, we did nothing to help. 565 00:29:30,334 --> 00:29:31,699 Oh, I mean it's all part of the job, 566 00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:35,333 but it never gets any easier. 567 00:29:35,467 --> 00:29:38,700 Don't touch me. So er, where next, Terry? 568 00:29:38,833 --> 00:29:42,067 I mean, we must be right behind him by now, surely? Yes? 569 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:46,500 From Fairfield mill, where to go? Where to go? 570 00:29:46,633 --> 00:29:49,103 Well these days there's only one place you can go. 571 00:29:50,567 --> 00:29:53,567 - Terry's most hated place. - Oh god Gemma, no. 572 00:29:54,567 --> 00:29:56,200 White scar caves. 573 00:29:57,900 --> 00:30:02,233 Imagine darkness. The darkest darkness. 574 00:30:04,033 --> 00:30:06,500 Well it's like that with a gift shop. 575 00:30:06,633 --> 00:30:08,743 Terry won't go in, he's afraid of the dark. 576 00:30:10,900 --> 00:30:13,967 Right, let's get a team to white scar caves. 577 00:30:14,100 --> 00:30:16,467 Terry's not coming. He's a coward. 578 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,833 Just so you know, i'm not afraid of the dark. 579 00:30:20,667 --> 00:30:22,967 I'm afraid of the tour guide there. 580 00:30:23,100 --> 00:30:26,733 She caresses me in the gloom. 581 00:30:31,333 --> 00:30:34,200 [Willy whistling] 582 00:30:38,533 --> 00:30:40,467 There's got to be more. A connection. 583 00:30:40,468 --> 00:30:43,399 What's the next verse in that song? 584 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:47,500 After the babies on the bus? Um, it's... [hums] 585 00:30:47,633 --> 00:30:48,767 The mummies on the bus. 586 00:30:51,067 --> 00:30:53,633 - Do you mean the mums? - [Women groaning] 587 00:30:53,767 --> 00:30:55,667 [Willy whistles] 588 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:58,767 - Oh god! With their bums... - And tums. 589 00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:01,133 Sorry, you've lost me. 590 00:31:01,267 --> 00:31:02,833 Willy's the one we're after! 591 00:31:02,967 --> 00:31:06,100 He's got a coach load of mums, just like in the song. 592 00:31:06,101 --> 00:31:07,799 And he actually told us he was the murderer. 593 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,600 - Yeah. - Pardon? 594 00:31:09,733 --> 00:31:12,367 - Nothing. Let's get moving. - Let's go! 595 00:31:13,567 --> 00:31:15,233 We'll follow you in the coach. 596 00:31:15,367 --> 00:31:17,433 Are you sure? It's much slower. 597 00:31:17,567 --> 00:31:19,800 I know, but I really like driving it. 598 00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:23,067 What? 599 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:27,067 Terry! Focus. We're hunting a killer, it'll take ages! 600 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,433 Oh Gemma, please. Please, please, please? 601 00:31:31,367 --> 00:31:32,700 Fine! 602 00:31:32,701 --> 00:31:34,499 Your call. Right, we'll see you at the caves. 603 00:31:34,500 --> 00:31:36,132 And can we just get this bugger caught, 604 00:31:36,133 --> 00:31:37,393 because this whole thing 605 00:31:37,394 --> 00:31:38,766 is really starting to do my tits in. 606 00:31:38,767 --> 00:31:41,300 [Siren wails] 607 00:31:46,367 --> 00:31:47,900 We did it Terry, 608 00:31:47,901 --> 00:31:50,332 a whole police department couldn't solve this case 609 00:31:50,333 --> 00:31:51,867 and we did it. 610 00:31:51,868 --> 00:31:53,799 Remind me to take those exact same words to Vicky 611 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,067 when I see her. 612 00:31:55,167 --> 00:31:58,633 The big news is, the roadworks on the a346. 613 00:31:58,767 --> 00:32:00,637 I've hated that road since it opened. 614 00:32:01,900 --> 00:32:02,950 Bugger! 615 00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:05,233 You alright? 616 00:32:05,367 --> 00:32:10,067 Gem, we may have made the tiniest of minor errors. 617 00:32:10,533 --> 00:32:12,100 What? 618 00:32:12,101 --> 00:32:13,699 Have you taken a wrong turn in your super sweet space coach? 619 00:32:13,700 --> 00:32:15,433 Ha ha, yeah. 620 00:32:15,567 --> 00:32:18,400 No, but also, there is a chance 621 00:32:18,533 --> 00:32:21,300 we might have sent the police to the wrong place. 622 00:32:21,433 --> 00:32:26,167 - Where the murderer, isn't. - We've done what? 623 00:32:26,300 --> 00:32:28,367 It's something Willy said the other day. 624 00:32:28,500 --> 00:32:30,367 I prefer the old-fashioned routes. 625 00:32:31,900 --> 00:32:33,900 The caves are on the a19 626 00:32:34,067 --> 00:32:36,633 and Willy wouldn't use that road either. 627 00:32:36,634 --> 00:32:39,066 And the old-fashioned route doesn't go to the caves. 628 00:32:39,067 --> 00:32:40,117 Where does it go?! 629 00:32:43,067 --> 00:32:44,117 Dead man's drop. 630 00:32:44,933 --> 00:32:47,400 [Soft music] 631 00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:51,267 [Singers chanting] 632 00:33:16,267 --> 00:33:18,667 [Siren wails] 633 00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:26,500 - Well, he's not here. - What? 634 00:33:26,633 --> 00:33:28,867 Oh we've dropped a right bollock here. 635 00:33:28,868 --> 00:33:30,299 How are we going to tell henrietta? 636 00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:31,866 Well, I'm gonna do what I've done 637 00:33:31,867 --> 00:33:34,397 every other time we've dropped a bollock, blag it. 638 00:33:34,667 --> 00:33:37,300 - [Phone ringing] - Yes? 639 00:33:37,433 --> 00:33:40,333 Henrietta? Hi babes. 640 00:33:40,467 --> 00:33:43,433 Yeah, tiny change of plan. 641 00:33:43,567 --> 00:33:45,933 So Terry's had a bit of a brainwave, 642 00:33:46,067 --> 00:33:48,700 so Watkins is a traditionalist. 643 00:33:48,833 --> 00:33:50,767 He doesn't like new roads. 644 00:33:50,900 --> 00:33:55,233 So Terry's cleverly deduced that he's at dead man's drop. 645 00:33:55,234 --> 00:33:57,199 Dead, dead man's drop? That's miles away from here. 646 00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:58,460 You're closer than we are. 647 00:33:58,533 --> 00:34:00,133 - Don't touch me. - I know, I know. 648 00:34:00,134 --> 00:34:02,199 - We're turning round now. - Right, okay. 649 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,310 Look, I'm supposed to say if you find him, 650 00:34:04,311 --> 00:34:05,666 don't put yourself in harm's way, 651 00:34:05,667 --> 00:34:06,932 but you know, maybe weigh things up. 652 00:34:06,933 --> 00:34:09,267 Have a pop. God loves a trier. 653 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:10,450 Go. 654 00:34:11,233 --> 00:34:13,767 [Siren wails] 655 00:34:15,333 --> 00:34:16,833 Alright, bye then! 656 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,233 [Upbeat music] 657 00:34:23,751 --> 00:34:27,066 Well, I hope you've enjoyed your day out 658 00:34:27,067 --> 00:34:28,366 with Willy's wonder tours. 659 00:34:28,367 --> 00:34:30,067 And as an additional treat, 660 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,733 in a moment you are going to roll off this cliff 661 00:34:32,867 --> 00:34:34,700 and plummet to your death. 662 00:34:34,833 --> 00:34:36,500 So, if you've got any feedback 663 00:34:36,633 --> 00:34:39,463 and wanna fill in the comment card, please do it quickly. 664 00:34:41,067 --> 00:34:43,057 No need to mention this on trip adviser. 665 00:34:52,867 --> 00:34:57,067 And so the final piece fits exactly into place, 666 00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,433 for what is a spectacle without an audience? 667 00:35:03,633 --> 00:35:06,467 [Orchestral music] 668 00:35:13,833 --> 00:35:15,523 You might wanna stop right there. 669 00:35:16,767 --> 00:35:20,233 See this wire? It's attached to the brakes. 670 00:35:20,367 --> 00:35:22,733 One tug and all the mummies on the bus 671 00:35:22,867 --> 00:35:26,400 most certainly will be shush shush shushed. 672 00:35:26,533 --> 00:35:27,583 Permanently. 673 00:35:28,367 --> 00:35:30,300 Willy, please stop. 674 00:35:30,433 --> 00:35:33,203 These are innocent people, they don't deserve to die! 675 00:35:33,233 --> 00:35:37,067 No, trust you just to see things at face value. 676 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,733 It's not the bodies, it's what they represent. 677 00:35:40,867 --> 00:35:42,933 What, the lyrics to "wheels on the bus?" 678 00:35:43,067 --> 00:35:44,567 It's just a nursery rhyme. 679 00:35:44,700 --> 00:35:48,967 To you maybe. But not to people like me and Terry. 680 00:35:49,100 --> 00:35:52,967 Hearing it day in, day out for over thirty years. 681 00:35:53,100 --> 00:35:55,030 I used to be a normal coach driver, me, 682 00:35:55,067 --> 00:35:56,600 just like all the others. 683 00:35:56,733 --> 00:35:58,843 High cholesterol and a broken marriage, 684 00:36:00,167 --> 00:36:03,633 but the endless sing-songs, over and over! 685 00:36:03,767 --> 00:36:05,200 They drill inside your mind. 686 00:36:05,201 --> 00:36:08,932 They make you stray from the duel carriageway of decency 687 00:36:08,933 --> 00:36:12,267 and take the diversion to bloody madness! 688 00:36:13,633 --> 00:36:15,633 I've been pretending to be a scotsman! 689 00:36:16,700 --> 00:36:18,133 He's right. 690 00:36:18,267 --> 00:36:20,600 - It gets in your soul, gem. - What? 691 00:36:20,733 --> 00:36:23,683 You're trying to stop them singing that song, aren't you? 692 00:36:25,333 --> 00:36:28,200 Jackpot! Mothers will tell their children 693 00:36:28,333 --> 00:36:29,600 that it's bad luck, 694 00:36:29,733 --> 00:36:32,433 because if people sing the song, people die! 695 00:36:33,767 --> 00:36:37,767 And I will be a hero to all the coach drivers. 696 00:36:39,100 --> 00:36:42,067 There'll be a statue of me on every forecourt 697 00:36:42,133 --> 00:36:45,300 in every service station up and down the land. 698 00:36:47,267 --> 00:36:49,300 That song plays in my head every night 699 00:36:49,433 --> 00:36:50,933 when I'm trying to get to sleep. 700 00:36:52,300 --> 00:36:56,333 One tug of this wire, the brakes come off 701 00:36:56,467 --> 00:36:58,467 and you will be free of it. 702 00:37:00,167 --> 00:37:01,400 It sounds amazing. 703 00:37:01,533 --> 00:37:03,900 What, are you agreeing with him? 704 00:37:04,067 --> 00:37:06,057 We should be stopping people like him! 705 00:37:07,300 --> 00:37:08,733 I'm afraid Terry's with me. 706 00:37:11,567 --> 00:37:12,700 Bye girls! 707 00:37:16,700 --> 00:37:19,500 [Women screaming] 708 00:37:26,467 --> 00:37:28,500 I'll keep that song in my head thanks. 709 00:37:28,633 --> 00:37:30,767 You're not killing all those people! 710 00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:31,967 Terry, no! 711 00:37:34,433 --> 00:37:36,067 Yes Terry! 712 00:37:36,167 --> 00:37:37,900 Join them! Join them! 713 00:37:39,067 --> 00:37:41,800 Don't! You'll go over with them! 714 00:37:45,433 --> 00:37:48,233 [Women screaming] 715 00:37:52,533 --> 00:37:53,583 No! 716 00:37:54,267 --> 00:37:56,667 Yes! Yes! 717 00:37:57,700 --> 00:38:00,600 [Watkins laughing] 718 00:38:02,700 --> 00:38:05,067 [Bus beeping] 719 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,633 [Soft music] 720 00:38:17,367 --> 00:38:18,800 Terry! 721 00:38:18,933 --> 00:38:19,983 Yes! 722 00:38:21,967 --> 00:38:26,867 - [Siren wailing] - [Soft music] 723 00:38:29,567 --> 00:38:30,967 Right, let's go. 724 00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:34,300 Are you quite mad? He is a murderer! 725 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,133 No no, I shall stay here, thank you. 726 00:38:38,267 --> 00:38:41,037 Make sure you lock that door when you shut it behind you. 727 00:38:41,833 --> 00:38:44,167 You cut him off, i'm gonna kick his head in. 728 00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:46,950 God, I love this job. 729 00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:59,467 Oh, someone's been a naughty boy. 730 00:39:01,067 --> 00:39:03,533 - I'm not resisting arrest. - I didn't hear! 731 00:39:03,667 --> 00:39:06,067 Hello? Is that the gazette? 732 00:39:06,068 --> 00:39:08,699 Yes, it's chief inspector henrietta Shepherd calling. 733 00:39:08,700 --> 00:39:12,167 We've caught the killer. Yes, I'm arresting him right now. 734 00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:15,167 And I must say, i'm being very brave. 735 00:39:15,300 --> 00:39:17,400 Willy Watkins, you're nicked son. 736 00:39:17,533 --> 00:39:20,367 Oh, that's the best bit. I love it when she does that bit. 737 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,433 [Women gagging] 738 00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:38,550 He's my fiancee. 739 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:41,733 Oh, you were so brave! 740 00:39:41,867 --> 00:39:44,333 - Oh... - I can't believe that. 741 00:39:46,067 --> 00:39:49,233 Oh yes, yes, sorry, I need to get you untied, yeah. 742 00:39:49,367 --> 00:39:51,133 That's much more important. Ooh! 743 00:39:52,067 --> 00:39:54,533 [Soft music] 744 00:40:00,133 --> 00:40:03,833 The funny thing is, you lot think it's all over. 745 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,433 Oh, it is over for you, my friend. 746 00:40:07,567 --> 00:40:10,157 We are gonna lock you up and throw away the key, yeah. 747 00:40:10,158 --> 00:40:13,366 Well, I mean we're not, we're not gonna throw away the key. 748 00:40:13,367 --> 00:40:15,566 The keys are really expensive, did you know that? 749 00:40:15,567 --> 00:40:17,799 But what I'm saying is, we're not gonna need the keys 750 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,690 for a very long time because you will be locked in the cell. 751 00:40:21,900 --> 00:40:24,467 Yeah, be as smug as you like, copper, 752 00:40:26,067 --> 00:40:27,757 there's a lot more bodies to find. 753 00:40:28,833 --> 00:40:30,833 And a lot more songs to be sung. 754 00:40:33,567 --> 00:40:36,667 "If you go down to the woods today, 755 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,333 you're in for a big surprise." 756 00:40:40,533 --> 00:40:43,100 What are you on about now? 757 00:40:43,233 --> 00:40:45,600 I've killed more people. They're in the woods. 758 00:40:45,733 --> 00:40:46,933 Did you do any training? 759 00:40:50,718 --> 00:40:56,399 You know, when I thought you'd gone off that cliff before, 760 00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:57,450 I was proper gutted. 761 00:40:58,500 --> 00:41:00,200 - Gutted? - Ah ha. 762 00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:02,067 Just gutted? 763 00:41:02,133 --> 00:41:05,300 Not heart-broken or devastated, 764 00:41:05,301 --> 00:41:07,499 to the point where you thought you'd never find love again? 765 00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:10,100 Oh I'd find love again, I wasn't worried about that. 766 00:41:10,233 --> 00:41:12,700 Probably with a younger, athletic man 767 00:41:12,833 --> 00:41:14,833 who ravishes me every day. 768 00:41:14,967 --> 00:41:17,533 What, full-on ravish, or just a quickie 769 00:41:17,667 --> 00:41:19,433 where we leave most of our pjs on? 770 00:41:19,567 --> 00:41:22,367 - Oh, fully ravished. - Poor bugger. 771 00:41:22,500 --> 00:41:25,167 [Gemma chuckles] 772 00:41:26,700 --> 00:41:29,167 Do you know, when I looked at you, 773 00:41:30,633 --> 00:41:33,043 you seemed to be loving driving the coach today. 774 00:41:33,044 --> 00:41:36,299 Are you sure you don't want to go back to it? 775 00:41:36,300 --> 00:41:38,867 I never wanna get on a coach again. 776 00:41:38,868 --> 00:41:40,799 There's something about almost plummeting off of a cliff 777 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,767 that really puts you off. 778 00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:45,370 Just, sometimes I think you're only going along 779 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,667 with all this detective agency thing to make me happy. 780 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:50,067 At first, yeah. 781 00:41:51,767 --> 00:41:53,900 Now, as long as all of our cases 782 00:41:54,067 --> 00:41:56,433 are based on the routes of old coach trips, 783 00:41:57,767 --> 00:42:00,400 - we could make a fortune. - Yeah. 784 00:42:03,867 --> 00:42:06,600 - Oh god! - Do you mind? We're in bed! 785 00:42:06,733 --> 00:42:09,833 Well, sofa bed, but it still says bed in the title. 786 00:42:09,834 --> 00:42:11,932 The chief inspector's told me to tell you 787 00:42:11,933 --> 00:42:15,767 that she really can't thank the both of you enough. 788 00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:17,100 And on a personal note, 789 00:42:17,101 --> 00:42:18,932 I suppose I have to say thanks as well. 790 00:42:18,933 --> 00:42:22,133 Aw, nearly made you sick saying that, didn't it? 791 00:42:22,267 --> 00:42:24,133 Yes. Yes it did. 792 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:28,750 The chief inspector also added that with a bit of training 793 00:42:28,867 --> 00:42:31,700 there could be a place on the force for a pair like you. 794 00:42:31,833 --> 00:42:34,700 And on a further personal note, I disagree with that. 795 00:42:34,833 --> 00:42:37,967 Well, tell her thank you. 796 00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:41,533 That's very kind, but you know, we like to, 797 00:42:41,667 --> 00:42:42,867 to tread our own path. 798 00:42:44,567 --> 00:42:48,233 Sure, it's a tricky path, fraught with danger, 799 00:42:49,867 --> 00:42:52,637 but there's a whole world out there that needs our help. 800 00:42:54,367 --> 00:42:56,400 And we're gonna give them that help. 801 00:42:56,401 --> 00:42:58,199 Not by sticking to the rule book, oh no, 802 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,500 but by playing hard and fast, two mavericks 803 00:43:00,633 --> 00:43:03,500 fighting the fight on behalf of the little people! 804 00:43:03,633 --> 00:43:07,333 What, the gnomes? Are we going back to the gnomes? 805 00:43:07,467 --> 00:43:09,933 But don't worry, if you ever need us, 806 00:43:10,067 --> 00:43:12,567 in fact let's just say next time you need us, 807 00:43:13,933 --> 00:43:16,833 just give us a call and we'll be there. 808 00:43:16,967 --> 00:43:21,400 Except on Tuesday nights. That's when Gemma's got zumba. 809 00:43:21,533 --> 00:43:22,583 Terry! 810 00:43:23,333 --> 00:43:24,400 Did I ruin it? 811 00:43:27,133 --> 00:43:30,133 - I ruined it, didn't I? - [Gemma sighs] 812 00:43:30,267 --> 00:43:32,700 [Soft music] 813 00:43:32,750 --> 00:43:37,300 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0